Comment: Will the English FA be suspended by FIFA?

By James Dostoyevsky

After months of research, discussions and hearings, after a Herculean effort to "do the right thing" (as the current Conservative government in the UK regularly tells everyone), the mountain gave birth to Mighty Mouse.

I can't even remember how many Sports Ministers there have been lately - all I know was that there were many - but they seem to have one fundamentally important thing in common: none of them didn't have a clue, even if their lives depended on it. (it is not).

Last Roll of the Dice is Crouch Review's most fabulous idea (nope, nothing to do with the footballer who, when asked what he'd be like if he hadn't been a footballer , replied, "single. love that giant). So this report (Tracey Crouch is no longer Sports Minister of course: she was 'Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Sports, Civil Society and Loneliness' [I didn't invent the ' loneliness'! it's part of the job title] from May 2015 to November 2018, under two prime ministers, David Cameron and Theresa May, but turned down Johnson's offer to continue in Cabinet), focuses on putting establishment of an independent regulator for the people's game. In case you don't know what it is: it's football.

Needless (almost) to say that the Premier League already opposes the proposal.

It goes without saying that the EPL has always fought against anything and anyone who would clip its wings. Understandable, if you're a Premier League club in a league used to spending a billion pounds per transfer window. But that's not my point.

What I mean is that a government has introduced an 'independent regulator' of football in England - if not the UK: after all, Westminster apparently rules the original four nations, even if they all have their own, sometimes dysfunctional football associations - this regulator - concept seems to go against the FIFA Statutes, namely point c) [and probably point d)] of Article 15 of the General Provisions of the FIFA Statutes. This article says:

The statutes of "member associations" must respect the principles of good governance, and contains in particular, at a minimum, provisions covering the following subjects: (…)

(…)(c) be independent and avoid any form of political interference; (d) guarantee the independence of judicial bodies (separation of powers)

Be independent, ok (from what, right?) But then "...and avoid any form of political interference".

Without a doubt, the genius at the helm of world football (he personally invented modern football, the internet, coffee machine pods, and he is now coming up with a new definition of sexual assault by bringing back the one of football's biggest scumbags, after many young girls were apparently unable to convince the idiots at CAS that the rape by the Haitian FA boss was rape nonetheless - even if you're an FA boss…) , so that man over there might be very upset with good old Tracey and her Review.

Infantino opposes nothing but a violation of his own kingdom and privilege. He's deciding what's what and what's not to be anything, hence the "Review Tracey Brought" will irritate his hyper-sensitive ego, and a new set of lessons in charisma are actively on the horizon.

There are bean counters and regulation counters. Then there's GI Joe. He is both. And he won't like this decision of the British government.

An 'independent regulator', anointed by any UK government any day, screams Article 15(c): The worst thing that can happen to FIFA: government interference! How awful.

Old Blatter used to have foam on his lips when a government - any government, anywhere - dared to interfere in his game. He ran to the moralizing sanctions office (there is no such thing, but still), cried bloody murder (he usually wouldn't shout anyway) and demanded that the respective FAs be sanctioned immediately.

“Government interference” is the red line that no FIFA apparatchik can accept. He needs to be eliminated (much like Gates wants to eliminate old people to make room for his humanoid robots that don't need any food, only energy).

And since GI Joe is cut from the same cloth (although the old man would hate to be juxtaposed with the child in any way), he'll also be foaming and screaming and all that.

So here we go.

Tory Tracey (TT) has produced a review, dripping with government interference of the worst kind: for football to be regulated by a government-compliant regulator, appointed by a government, reporting to a government and s ensuring that this government has the final say on a pile of...