Do you have to work on a relationship to make it a good one and keep it that way?

Do you have to work on a relationship to make it good and stay that way?

Here's a great question someone asked a while ago on this topic that we think was worth investigating…

"You hear a lot of people say that a relationship shouldn't be 'work'. Is that true? If not, then what kind of 'work' should it be?"

The definition of "work" is mental or physical exertion and most of the time people equate this effort with a struggle or strenuous effort to "do" something they really don't want to do.< /p>

Often a person wants to work on a relationship, which can mean reading books or taking classes, trying new techniques along the way…

And the other person in the relationship becomes passive-aggressive, drags their feet, or completely refuses to participate.

So if your mindset is that you need to "work" on a relationship, it won't help improve it.

In fact, it might drive you further away.

So what kind of "work" should you do in a relationship to keep it alive and grow?

One of our wise teachers, Steve Chandler, once said that the answer to any "how do I..." question is time and attention, and that's absolutely true when it comes to it is a relationship.

Susie, her sister, and two cousins ​​who live several hundred miles away got together last week for their biannual adventure.

These “adventures” have been going on for over 60 years and will continue because, in order to maintain their close and connected relationship…

They not only make these get-togethers a priority, devoting time and attention to what they call their "cousin club", but also since Covid they have weekly Zoom meetings.

Do we call it devoting time and attention to the relationships that are important to us?

No, we call it focusing on the priorities of our lives.

When you explore new aspects of yourself and your partner, it takes the focus away from "working" on the relationship to enjoying exploring and seeing something new in the other person.

Of course, we encourage those who enjoy reading books and taking classes to find out how to live a happier life without too much difficulty in their relationships…

(Since we offer them, we wouldn't be mad too!)

We advise against making them "work" for others if the interest and desire are not there.

We've seen it time and time again…

When you relax and come from love for yourself and for the other person…

The relationship is getting better, and it's not a job.

If your relationship feels like work, contact us here…