Emotional honesty - Here's how to stop your partner from hiding

If there's one thing our Coach Clients and Workshop Participants want almost more than anything else, that's the answer to THAT question…

"How can I get my partner to be more open with me?"

Here’s what we learned…

When it comes to relationships, one of the most common challenges is when one person thinks the other isn't emotionally showing up as much as they could and it's hard to connect.< /p>

Sometimes even though you try to talk about what's going on, the person withdraws even further until you stop trying...

And then more often than not, the relationship (and the people in it) go numb.

Everyone is holding back. You. We. Your partner and everyone from time to time.

We all have things inside of us that we don't want to reveal or acknowledge, especially to some people.

We want people to think the best of us, and we believe that if they "know" what we're holding back, they won't like or like us anymore.

Sometimes we are not even aware that we are hiding.

Susie recalls thinking for years, while married to her ex-husband, that he was out of touch with her emotions - no emotional honesty - and that was her job to help him.

But nothing she tried worked.

She pushed and pushed then pulled away after a while when he wasn't what she expected or wanted him to be.

She didn't realize until after she was with Otto that SHE hadn't been emotionally honest in the relationship either!

What insight…

She had let her feelings about their relationship stay hidden because she didn't want to disrupt their life together.

In the end, honesty finally won out and it led to a divorce after 30 years together, but in the meantime, Susie learned a big lesson.

If you're struggling with a distant partner and don't feel connected to them, there may be a lot more going on here than you think.

If you want to allow more love, openness, honesty, and connection into your relationship and your life, here are 3 tips we learned about emotional honesty and hiding...

1. Look where you're hiding

It's so tempting to keep pointing fingers at your partner and that lack of emotional honesty is their problem when it could be a sign of looking within yourself.

Is there anything you avoid watching or believing?

2. Don't emotionally "vomit" all your thoughts and feelings

If you discover thoughts and feelings you've been holding back, it's tempting to just let go with a barrage of venom on your partner.

It won't help you bond or feel more connected or have more emotional honesty in a healthy way.

We all have thoughts that cross our minds and we can choose which ones we put energy into.

3. Find the wisdom within you and share it as needed.

We all have wisdom within us and this is the place we want to connect with.

Over the years, Susie has realized that in addition to not wanting to admit that her previous marriage was over, she doesn't like being vulnerable about what she sees as physical or emotional weakness.< /p>

This awareness sometimes keeps her from asking for help when she needs it and allowing people to see that side of herself: the vulnerable side.

She now sees that when she shares her vulnerability, she can allow others in and the connection is deeper.

Of course, you can choose who you share your vulnerability with, but be aware that if you hold back, the connection may suffer.

But we've seen it time and time again…

When one person opens, the other feels safe enough to do the same.

And it can happen in your relationship.

Need help speaking your mind in a healthy way? Contact us here….