Managing difficult relationships with adult children

When My girl reached her late teenagers And early around twenty, OUR relationship went through A difficult period. On the way far has college gave her A emotional distance that allowed her has more clearly perceive her pass, including how Identifier kinship her. She began has recognize manners Identifier cause her pain And how those injuries were affecting her And her relationships. 

I have Since discovered that This frequently occurs When children enter adulthood. If they feel relatively on with their parent, there generally come A time When they relay these it hurts. Sometimes they TO DO This calmly, And Sometimes with THE anger that stems Since A deeply wounded soul. This can feel creepy, especially For those WHO to carry unresolved guilt And shame. In THE moment, OUR child words could feel as rejection, Thus trigger defensive attitude In We. In reality, OUR son Or girl East while searching healthier And more fulfilling interactions with us.

They are reach towards We And asking, if not begging, For We has reach For them - in their pain. When We answer GOOD, We help repair relational Shame, bring healing has soul injuries, And to strenghten filled with joy Connections. When We react poorly, However, We tender has to broaden THE cracks between We, deepen OUR child it hurts, And TO DO them less apt has reveal their the truest self, happy Or sad, has We In THE future. 

Here are a few six things I learned Since My experience And listen has other moms And young adults:

1. Investigate When You Feel Defensive

According to has mental health experts, defense mechanisms are unhealthy manners of to face with difficult situations, thoughts, And emotions. Unfortunately, We tender has exposure these learned reactions Before We can assess OUR circumstances Or internal experiences. This makes he difficult has change OUR behavior. OUR inability has TO DO SO can lead has increase guilt And too bad.

THE more We notice these unhelpful reactions And in prayer consider their roots, THE Easier he becomes has regulate OUR emotions during tense And uncomfortable conversations. Were more apt has talk Since What My therapist refers to has as OUR “Led by the Spirit self" instead that OUR insecurities And pain. Not only will This keep We Since escalation THE conflict, but OUR son Or girl East more likely has feel heard And love, Thus encouraging calm communication. 

2. Trust Your Child Wanna has Retain Their Connection

Due has a few of My unresolved, And initially unknown, pain, I seen a lot of My girl Express it hurts as rejection. Growth up, Identifier learned Connections stopped When I failed has meet other people expectations. Without realize he, I door these subconscious beliefs In My most important adult relationships. SO, When My girl said Me of times When I did not have behaved as THE Mom She necessary And I longed for has be, THE not cured places In My soul feared She was push Me far. 

In reality, those conversations revealed THE opposite. She doesn't to want "less" of Me. She research more of me the real, in good health Me. She longed for For We has build A mutually fulfilling relationship, A free of tension, insecurity, And dysfunction. NOW, I am grateful For her courage has talk THE truth during that season because he encouraged We both has to grow. Those discussions doesn't destroy Or Shame OUR relationship. Instead, they cured And reinforced he.   

3. Listen has Their Heart More That Their Words

While hurt Or upset, he can be difficult has express ourselves In A calm, logic, And consistent path. We can not even realize THE underlying emotions fill up OUR pain And frustration. For example, When My husband And I were First of all married, he would be leave dirty clothes on THE bathroom ground And dishes In THE life bedroom. Hearing My complaints, he assumed I was upset with THE mess. My hurt went Deeper. Because I assumed responsibility For maintain OUR House, I felt devalued by her Actions. Once he Understood This, he was able has answer has My pain with THE insurance And love I implored. 

Young adults could exist In grown up body, but their brains are not Again fully developed. More, they won't be able has regulate intense emotions unless We have taught them has TO DO SO And to have poster how. SO, We can see tense conversations as opportunities has form And model healthier to face. GOOD Also find that THE more A person feels heard And Understood, THE safer And more love they feel, which brought calm has their interior anguish. 

4. Seek And Follow Gods Lead

I once read A social media chart that said something has THE effect of, "If You are always upset After twenty four hours, address he." While I to understand THE feeling of not allowing A hurt Or "offense" has suppurate, I to disagree with THE chronology, especially When...