I'll trade you cursed dolls and metal frogs for that junk banana statue

John Oliver is set to strike a deal for a (formerly) public artwork at Fitzroy. That's not to say the negotiations were easy.

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< p class= "css-at9mc1 evys1bk0">For the past few months, British-American comedian John Oliver has been locked in talks with Yarra City Council, Melbourne, in what has become a labyrinthine negotiation involving public art, vandalism, the koala chlamydia, a polystyrene recycling machine, three ominous giant metal frogs and a bucket full of cursed dolls. Last week the negotiations reached what (I hope) will become a tipping point, because I really want these frogs to be part of my daily life.

The situation isn't easy to sum up, but let's get to it: in late 2021, the council unveiled a sculpture titled "Fallen Fruit" by artist Adam Stone on a street corner in the Fitzroy neighborhood. The Melbourne area, and Fitzroy in particular, has a long history of supporting public art, but this statue also had another purpose: to help slow traffic.

Alas, many locals did not appreciate Mr. Stone's work. A kind of mash-up of Skeletor from "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe", the Martians from 1996's "Mars Attacks" and - let's face it - the absolute worst fruit, the sculpture was then vandalized when someone one tried to decapitate this. The city removed the sculpture in order to – well, actually, we have no idea. They won't say what they make of it, if it has been repaired and if it will ever see the streets of Melbourne again.

When Mr Oliver heard talking about the situation, he offered a solution: he would buy the sculpture for 10 Australian dollars; donating $10,000 to a Melbourne food bank and donating $5,000 to the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward at Australia Zoo Wildlife Hospital in Queensland (another story, which you can read here); and send to Melbourne, as a replacement, a statue of a giant alligator making a rude hand gesture.

Mr. Oliver participated in similar negotiations with Texas, but with a much simpler outcome. The beaches of South Texas are experiencing a strange phenomenon: several dolls wash up on the shore. These scribble dolls can be described as nightmarish material, thanks in part to their passage through the ocean. Judge by yourself. Mr. Oliver offered $10,000 to a local sea turtle rescue organization if the dolls were returned to him.

He now has the dolls.

< p class="css-at9mc1 evys1bk0">Which brings us to this week. Mr. Oliver's HBO show "Last Week Tonight" (watchable in Australia on online platform Binge) usually focuses on one issue per episode, and this week it was about inflation. To explain inflation, Mr. Oliver bought three giant bronze frog statues. The frogs were doing something with their legs that's not exactly obscene, but not OK either. Although they may be less disturbing than the banana or the dolls, there is something joyful and upsetting about these frogs. In other words, they're perfect.

Yarra Mayor Sophie Black has rejected Mr Oliver's offer to buy the banana, but she has offered an alternative: he sends in the alligator statue, and the city will name his Styrofoam recycling machine after Mr. Oliver.