Podcast Ep. 261: What does it mean to hit below our weight in dating and relationships?

I get a lot of messages from people wondering why they feel more comfortable dating and having relationships with people "below" or "below" their level. In this week's episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I discuss why making value judgments based on superficial criteria becomes a red herring that blinds us to the real issues. I also define what dating actually means below or below you and some of the reasons a person does that.

Subscribe to Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android

5 key topics in this episode Dating or being in a relationship with someone who isn't "on our level" is when choosing to be with them means you can't be yourself. You are less than what you really are. It's not about money, looks, your job, your background, etc. it is recognizing where you are in a non-mutual relationship. A major indicator that you've had a relationship with someone who's not on your level is when things don't go the way you need, want and expect, blame yourself for everything you have done for them or endured with them, or feel taken advantage of or abused. You might even think how could someone like them not want to be with someone like me? or feel outraged that they had to cancel it first. There are various reasons why, consciously or not, we associate or relate to people who are not on our level. These include the power and desire to be in control, thinking that the person will have less reason to leave because we are doing so much for them and will therefore be "grateful", responding to underlying feelings of low esteem. self, and use help, repair, and savings to feel needed, useful, and worthy. When we judge people based on how they look or how much money they have or how intellectual we think of ourselves or their race or their profession or whatever, our perception of levels is based on superficiality. We focus on secondary and not fundamental values. We know we are on a level where we are honestly and authentically ourselves. Noticing where we judge others helps us see where we judge ourselves. It also reveals our prejudices. Mentioned Links + Recommended Resources

Subscribe and/or review Apple Podcasts (how-to guide here). It really helps make the show grow! If you're new to podcasts, learn more about what they are and how to subscribe to them with this handy guide.

Related Items: