Valentine's Day Gift Ideas by Love Language + Husband/Wife Edition
1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV) "So now faith, hope and love remain, these three; but the greatest of them, c is love."
It's an age-old fight. A husband or wife's "love tank" is depleted by the stresses and bustle of life, and they begin to feel the pain of wanting to feel loved. They hope that their spouse will do a particular thing or do a certain gesture to show that love, but as the days and weeks go by, that doesn't happen. So the bitterness begins to sprout, watered down by a bit of resentment and passive-aggressive tactics, until a full-fledged fight has blossomed.
"I just need you to show me you love me!"
"Yes!"
"But you never do XYZ."
"But I did ABC, and you didn't even notice!"
You know. You have been there. Ultimately, this isn't a case of one spouse ignoring the other or refusing to meet their needs - it's most often a problem where one spouse doesn't realize what those needs are.
Enter the languages of love! What I love most about the love language system, created by Gary Smalley, is that it teaches us to give love in a way that is truly received by our loved one. Nothing is lost ! No more miscommunication, assumptions or accusations. When each spouse recognizes how the other best receives love, it becomes simple to shower them with that method of love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV) "Let everything you do be done with love."
Although nothing is ever a perfect formula, the five love languages provide an excellent map for expressing our affection. And with Valentine's Day approaching, gift giving can be tricky along the same lines. What does your spouse really want?
For example, I love receiving trinkets, so I'm naturally inclined to gift them! For Christmas, nothing makes me happier than receiving a gift tailored to my unique preferences and interests. That might mean book earrings, Gilmore Girls merchandise, coffee mugs with a Starbucks gift card hidden inside, or figurines from my favorite movies or novels (like Alice in Wonderland). wonders, The Office, etc). I love lining these cute little Funko Pop figures on my office shelves or at my workstation.
My husband's worst nightmare, however, is having a bunch of trinkets on his desk! So while I like picking something funny from his favorite TV shows for him to post, it misses the mark with him. The gift that excites me becomes a burden because gifts are not its love language. However, he is happy when I hold the flashlight for him while he fixes the dishwasher or when I accompany him on his errands. This is because he receives love best as acts of service and quality time.
See how easy it is to get lost? I could have my feelings hurt because he didn't respond as I had hoped to the gift I had chosen for him – or I could understand that he is wired differently. Just like I didn't care if he did the dishes or washed my car for me, I'd love a Lorelai Gilmore Funko. (Which he would assume just set the fire.) Ha!
When we understand each other, we can show love in a way that is deeply received and help keep each other's "love tanks" filled, throughout the year, not just on Valentine's Day.
Proverbs 3:27 (ESV) "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do so."
If we truly love our spouse, we desire to show them love in a way that they naturally receive. When we know it's not working for them, insisting on doing things our way isn't very loving.
If you're unsure of your spouse's (or yours!) love language, here's a link to the free online test: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love- language.
And here are several gift ideas for each of the five love languages, just in time for the perfect display of love this Valentine's Day:
Words of affirmationWrite several things you like about your spouse, what you think they are good at, etc., in a journal and give them the book as a gift. You can go further and commit to writing there all year round. They'll always have a place to come back to after a hard day for some positive affirmation!
Love letters were popular in the past for a reason! Pour your heart into a handwritten love note for your spouse and wrap it like a gift. They will be affected.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV) "So now faith, hope and love remain, these three; but the greatest of them, c is love."
It's an age-old fight. A husband or wife's "love tank" is depleted by the stresses and bustle of life, and they begin to feel the pain of wanting to feel loved. They hope that their spouse will do a particular thing or do a certain gesture to show that love, but as the days and weeks go by, that doesn't happen. So the bitterness begins to sprout, watered down by a bit of resentment and passive-aggressive tactics, until a full-fledged fight has blossomed.
"I just need you to show me you love me!"
"Yes!"
"But you never do XYZ."
"But I did ABC, and you didn't even notice!"
You know. You have been there. Ultimately, this isn't a case of one spouse ignoring the other or refusing to meet their needs - it's most often a problem where one spouse doesn't realize what those needs are.
Enter the languages of love! What I love most about the love language system, created by Gary Smalley, is that it teaches us to give love in a way that is truly received by our loved one. Nothing is lost ! No more miscommunication, assumptions or accusations. When each spouse recognizes how the other best receives love, it becomes simple to shower them with that method of love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV) "Let everything you do be done with love."
Although nothing is ever a perfect formula, the five love languages provide an excellent map for expressing our affection. And with Valentine's Day approaching, gift giving can be tricky along the same lines. What does your spouse really want?
For example, I love receiving trinkets, so I'm naturally inclined to gift them! For Christmas, nothing makes me happier than receiving a gift tailored to my unique preferences and interests. That might mean book earrings, Gilmore Girls merchandise, coffee mugs with a Starbucks gift card hidden inside, or figurines from my favorite movies or novels (like Alice in Wonderland). wonders, The Office, etc). I love lining these cute little Funko Pop figures on my office shelves or at my workstation.
My husband's worst nightmare, however, is having a bunch of trinkets on his desk! So while I like picking something funny from his favorite TV shows for him to post, it misses the mark with him. The gift that excites me becomes a burden because gifts are not its love language. However, he is happy when I hold the flashlight for him while he fixes the dishwasher or when I accompany him on his errands. This is because he receives love best as acts of service and quality time.
See how easy it is to get lost? I could have my feelings hurt because he didn't respond as I had hoped to the gift I had chosen for him – or I could understand that he is wired differently. Just like I didn't care if he did the dishes or washed my car for me, I'd love a Lorelai Gilmore Funko. (Which he would assume just set the fire.) Ha!
When we understand each other, we can show love in a way that is deeply received and help keep each other's "love tanks" filled, throughout the year, not just on Valentine's Day.
Proverbs 3:27 (ESV) "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do so."
If we truly love our spouse, we desire to show them love in a way that they naturally receive. When we know it's not working for them, insisting on doing things our way isn't very loving.
If you're unsure of your spouse's (or yours!) love language, here's a link to the free online test: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love- language.
And here are several gift ideas for each of the five love languages, just in time for the perfect display of love this Valentine's Day:
Words of affirmationWrite several things you like about your spouse, what you think they are good at, etc., in a journal and give them the book as a gift. You can go further and commit to writing there all year round. They'll always have a place to come back to after a hard day for some positive affirmation!
Love letters were popular in the past for a reason! Pour your heart into a handwritten love note for your spouse and wrap it like a gift. They will be affected.
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