When self-love is not loving...

I was just about has turn 26 years old When A of My attempts has love of self (And has be magnet has My marry has THE time) turned In THE the biggest disaster of My life.

What arrived was, A day OUR following door neighbor WHO was A provider And House manufacturer) said Me that he was going has buy A piece of to land not far Since We And build A brand new, totally amazing House on THE property.

He was SO excited And do he her SO easy that I begin get excited about TO DO THE even thing.

THE longer he And I talked about he, THE more he sounded feasible.

HAS TO DO A Really long history short, he (And We) decided has go In together And buy not just THE piece of to land he was initially going has buy…

But We would be buy THE property following has that A as GOOD And he would be build two Houses instead of just A And marry continue be neighbors And friends.

Only SO, instead of life In little entrance houses, marry both to have Really Good, custom do houses up on This hill In THE Woods with very little neighbors And total confidentiality.

Big problem.

THE House OUR provider friend was building For We came In path on budget, OUR old House Never sold And My marry became pregnant.

More, OUR son was born with major (has THE time) health problems.

When he was all said And do that attempt has love of self by "going For My dreams" And building This big House on THE hill that We I could not Really allow yourself…

Peaked In What would be come has be known by Me as My "3 years of hell."

Maybe A day I will share more of THE specific details of What arrived In THE consequences.

But For NOW, let's go just say that by THE time This 3 year period was on, I felt totally alone, defeated And abandoned, even by God.

Look back has Me In My early around twenty, I was simply young, silly And SO complete of FAKE trust In myself that I could to have has been considered arrogant, vain And arrogant.

I Also had almost No self awareness.

I did not have Again figurative out THE importance of ask myself THE "Deeper questions" as I do important the decisions about moving Before In My life…

And to slow down down.

After My "3 years of hell," I was No longer arrogant, arrogant Or vain.

I doesn't to have A ounce of real Or even FAKE trust LEFT In me.

Someone once said that life East What arrived while You are busy manufacturing other plans And It is certainly What arrived has me.

From SO, I have has been on A 30 year journey of learning about self-esteem.

He doesn't always has been easy but My to focus Since SO has has been among other things) about learning has love Me And learning self awareness SO I know THE difference between When I am Really magnet myself And When I am future Since a few wounded place I am always wearing Before Since My past.

I have learned that There is always A reason For All We do.

Always.

No Exceptions.

Sometimes were aware of THE the reasons And Sometimes were no.

What I am discovery In My life East that There is A big difference between TO DO something has to try has put A balm on A old hurt SO You don't do it feel he And call that thing love…

Against TO DO something It is A TRUE act of self-esteem.

These days, It is THE self-awareness piece And how self-conscious I am that help Me be more (Or less) able has love myself In each And each moment.

I have find A little questions extremely useful along THE path In My quest For more self-esteem.

These are (but certainly are not limit has) questions like…

"For what am I TO DO that?" And SO following up with another similar but different question…

"For what am I Really TO DO that?"

These two questions are pure gold In allowing more love of self because they help You get has THE truth.

And Finally, I as has ask myself…

"What would be having, TO DO Or be THIS give Me that I don't do it Already have you?”

Years later When I could Finally look back on THE 3 YOU...