10 ways to sabotage your marriage (without realizing it)

She looked hot and she knew it. Blond. All in curves. Suede pumps with a too short leather skirt. Green beckoning eyes and a killer smile to match. She wanted everyone's attention in the room and boy, she got it (including mine).

She floated through the crowd, laughing with one group and then another. Finally, she walked over to a group of men, including my husband. Before walking away, she patted his arm with her graceful, manicured hand, perhaps a little too much.

Really?

She probably didn't mean anything by that, but after the party, my husband and I talked about the situation, had a little laugh, and moved on. Although it happened years ago, I'm glad we chose to talk about it and reassure ourselves, rather than pretend it didn't happen. Recognizing and talking about things (or people) that could sabotage our marriage helps us protect it.

I wish we had done it more.

After 31 years of marriage, I've learned a lot of things not to do, both from watching others and from making a lot of mistakes myself. And I'm still learning. With each anniversary, my appreciation grows for our beautiful, quirky and sometimes less than perfect relationship. I want to protect what we have and work to improve it.

I'm sure you will too.

While no one is trying to sabotage their marriage, it's not that hard to do. And often, we may not realize we're causing damage, until it's too late. Here are ten ways to sabotage your marriage that I've learned to avoid.

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