How would you answer this question?
I will tell you mine after I answer for my husband. His love is definitely patient.
The other day he sat on the couch to better inspect my mother’s phone. He was setting up his Siri.
“You activate Siri by swiping diagonally. From the corner. No, let me show you. Do it like this.”
After my mother succeeded, he continued. “Now say ‘Hey, Siri’.”
She obeyed.
“Harder this time.”
They repeated this step until his phone’s operating system asked him for a new line to vocalize. John read it aloud to Mom. “Now say, ‘Hey, Siri. What’s the weather like today?'”
“What’s the weather like today?” »
“No, you have to say everything. So say ‘Hey, Siri. What’s the weather like today?'”
They left, coming and going, until my mother’s phone recognized her voice commands.
There’s a reason my husband was the one helping my mom with technology instead of me. This man has a patience so deep that it could swallow you up if you don’t know how to swim.
As for me?
On Friday, I was looking for a parking space when a slight movement caught my attention. Perfect! An SUV was trying to back up. My parking problem was about to expire.
I zoomed to position myself behind the car and glanced at the clock, 4:13 p.m.
What’s taking so long? Get moving already.
Of course, the other driver couldn’t hear my thoughts, so I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel. I watched a few shoppers transfer their groceries into the trunk of their car. I looked at the clock a little longer.
Odd. Is it still 4:13 p.m.?
The car I was waiting for finally moved, but by several centimeters.
I know several elderly people who can walk faster than this car.
The driver’s leisurely pace provoked me to the point that I heard myself yell sarcasm at the slow car: “Back up as slowly as you can, puh-location!”
I looked/looked towards the driver’s seat when the car finally, thankfully, moved out of the parking spot so I could claim it. The driver was not old.
You now know my answer to the title of this article. Nomy love is not patient.
But since I am also open to growing, I decided to write this piece.
The Many Benefits of Patience
The Bible explains in detail why it is imperative to mature in patience. On the one hand, it leads to completion: “Let perseverance (patience) finish its work, that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:4). If you ever feel the need for a king to see things your way, be patient (Proverbs 25:15).
Serious about stepping outside of God’s perfect will? Learn from Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 15-21), whose saga began with God’s promise of an heir. But as their childless status persisted even after their patience ran out, Sara plotted to have her husband sleep with his maid.
A son came, all right, but not the one God had conceived. The couple’s baby had to involve Sarah because these two would eventually spread the entire tribe of Israel. To mark the occasion, the Lord had prepared not one, but two miracles: Isaac was to be conceived by a father whose body was “as if dead”, in the womb of a mother whose womb was barren (Romans 4:19).
The message that God transmitted through this double miracle reverberates throughout time. If God could bring life into two corpses, which then multiplied to form an entire nation, what could He not do for the rest of humanity?
What do you want? A spouse? The lake house? A comfortable savings account? Learn to place your will in God’s hands and wait.
If you let him move at his own pace, you will rejoice in receiving your own Isaac.
But perhaps the most crucial benefit of great patience is the number of souls we can reach. When we lack patience, we act in discriminatory ways. That’s because impatience forces us to exclude people who don’t respond quickly enough for our liking, which limits the number of people we can serve.
The fact is that humans exhibit different reaction rates. Some cluster at the faster end of the spectrum, others cluster around the mid range, while still others fall at the slower end. Whether some people need more time to respond due to age, physical disability, mental blocks, or unidentifiable reasons, the more patient we are, the more individuals we can reach.
God’s extravagant love longs to embrace as many hearts as possible. Notice the italicized word in the Apostle Peter’s statement: “The Lord is not slow in fulfilling his promise, as some understand slowness. Rather, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).
His patience is the reason the world didn’t end. His patience buys time and allows more souls to receive Jesus as Lord, which will then save them from eternal damnation (John 3:16).
As His children, we must follow our Father’s example (Ephesians 5:1).
7 steps to becoming more patient
Galatians 5:22-23 describes patience (also known as longsuffering) as one of the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit. These qualities are called fruit because the Holy Spirit is the Gardener, cultivating the nine flavors of our lives when we allow Him to do the work.
This intriguing arrangement means both parties are responsible. We can expect the Holy Spirit to do His part, but we also have a role to play.
One way we can fulfill our responsibility is to apply the principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to treat the parts of our soul that are impatient. So when you lose patience, make a mental note of the opportunity. Perform the following steps only when you are alone and have more time:
1. Say to yourself: Can I speak with the part that was impatient?
2. Monitor your interior’s response. The impatient part can make its presence known by dropping a thought into your mind (like “It’s me” or “What do you want?”). Or you might start to feel more and more irritated. Or a physical sensation may attract your attention. Either way, wait until you receive confirmation that the eager party has responded to your invitation to meet.
3. How do you feel about the impatient party? If your response is anything other than curiosity or compassion, another part of your soul is probably present. Ask all other parts to give you space internally until you can truly feel compassion or curiosity toward the impatient part.
4. Send your compassion or curiosity to the room.
5. Ask the party: Why are you impatient? Don’t make up the answer. Monitor what is happening. It’s possible that the partial answer comes in the form of a reel of childhood memories of how your caregivers often criticized you. Or the play may reveal a belief that it is better to be fast.
6. If you have a reaction about what was shown to you, share it with your part. Thanking him for responding to your previous request is also appropriate.
7. Refer your part to the benefits of patience that we discussed previously. Let him know your intention to become more patient. Ask if the party would appreciate help growing in patience.
As a certified IFS therapist, I can attest to the power of befriending the parts, including the rebellious and resistant parts. The more you approach your impatient part with an open heart, the more they will listen to you. Talk about the gentle power of the Holy Spirit to heal your emotional wounds and to grow the fruit of patience within you.
My love is not as patient as it will be. I know that. But I intend to do my part to mature in patience, while allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work in me.
And you?
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Jantanee Rungpranomkorn
