The gift of being uncomfortable

The other day I was in a discussion group about books and I was talking about the well - I researched Heather McGhee's book The Sum of Us when I got really excited.

I became very uncomfortable when every comment I seemed to make in the chat was "wrong" according to a woman in the group.

In that case, I instantly shut up and vowed to leave the band.

Okay, so I felt angry, stupid, and unfairly harassed…

But what I was really struggling with was that these feelings were familiar and uncomfortable.

Now we all have feelings that keep coming back to us that we are not comfortable with.

Like me, it can be anger and feeling stupid, but it can also be insidious feelings of jealousy and even intense love.

When these feelings hit us, we try to stifle them in all sorts of ways and may even blame others for something completely different.

We don't like them because they're uncomfortable for some reason we made up.

In difficult times when there is a struggle between opening your heart to someone and closing it, if you are like me in this reading group, you close.

This is what I came to learn…

You may see uncomfortable feelings as a sign of backing down, which can be fertile ground for resentment to build…

Or you can choose to see the discomfort not as something to avoid or defend yourself against, but as a sign that you are bumping into something that is trying to get your attention to be acknowledged and let go.< /p>

My experience shows that there is great freedom on the other side to let go of a belief that no longer serves you.

You don't have to get stuck.

You can choose to see any discomfort that hits you in the face as a sign and a gift that something important is ready to be let go so you can see, feel, and have more of the love you want in your life.

What beliefs have I seen that I could choose to give up?

Beliefs from my childhood that have no basis in reality and that I have abandoned many times in my life…

The belief that I am stupid and that my angry feelings are wrong.

So in this final instance of showing me that I still carry those beliefs…

I have a choice: I can leave the group or I can stay in it, allowing love for myself and appreciating what I can learn from others in the group and from this situation.

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Most importantly, I can see where my thoughts (even if I'm not aware of them) are reinforcing these limiting beliefs that I'm stupid and that it's not okay to feel angry.

I can choose to recognize them and not feed them.

Being uncomfortable is a gift for me and for you too if you choose to see it that way.

If you have a question about feelings that make you uncomfortable, ask here...