How to Manage Expectations in Marriage and Committed Relationships

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Marriage is a partnership. I know, duh. But many of us go into this partnership with an entire script for a good marriage written entirely in our own heads, and then we get frustrated when our partner doesn't magically know their lines.

It's natural and necessary to have expectations in marriage, especially those that align with your value system, but if you can't openly communicate your expectations as a newlywed or be flexible enough to meet expectations of your partner, then problems will arise sooner rather than later.

So let's nip this all in the bud, shall we? Here are some ways to manage your expectations in marriage, including how to effectively communicate what you want to your partner and how to check in with yourself to make sure you're also making room for your partner's wants and needs. /p >

To have a good partner, you have to be a good partner. Whether you're navigating the first or 30th year of marriage, there's always room to grow!

Table of Contents

Expectations in Marriage: What's Normal?

For starters, everyone comes into life experiences with their own opinions and expectations of how things should turn out, and marriage is certainly no different! Most couples have these conversations even before they get engaged, and certainly before they actually walk down the aisle, but sometimes we get so caught up in these types of heady "love" feelings that we may not know really how we will react once we are married.

For example, maybe you really don't mind your partner going out to play pickleball with their friends every weekend, but then baby comes along and you might start to feel like every weekend is a bit too much. This scenario is completely normal, and dealing with major life changes in marriage requires both people to be honest about their wants and needs, even if and when these change.

What's not normal is expecting your partner to bend to your will and do exactly what you want, no matter what. This is where managing your expectations of your spouse comes in. Even if it doesn't come naturally to you, it's a skill you can learn.

How to Manage Expectations in Relationships

 A couple share a swing during a romantic sunset while discussing their relationship expectations

We think we're being respectful and sparing someone's feelings by dismissing or minimizing our own, but that can be a recipe for disaster: it's often after pushing aw...

How to Manage Expectations in Marriage and Committed Relationships

This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure page for more details.

Marriage is a partnership. I know, duh. But many of us go into this partnership with an entire script for a good marriage written entirely in our own heads, and then we get frustrated when our partner doesn't magically know their lines.

It's natural and necessary to have expectations in marriage, especially those that align with your value system, but if you can't openly communicate your expectations as a newlywed or be flexible enough to meet expectations of your partner, then problems will arise sooner rather than later.

So let's nip this all in the bud, shall we? Here are some ways to manage your expectations in marriage, including how to effectively communicate what you want to your partner and how to check in with yourself to make sure you're also making room for your partner's wants and needs. /p >

To have a good partner, you have to be a good partner. Whether you're navigating the first or 30th year of marriage, there's always room to grow!

Table of Contents

Expectations in Marriage: What's Normal?

For starters, everyone comes into life experiences with their own opinions and expectations of how things should turn out, and marriage is certainly no different! Most couples have these conversations even before they get engaged, and certainly before they actually walk down the aisle, but sometimes we get so caught up in these types of heady "love" feelings that we may not know really how we will react once we are married.

For example, maybe you really don't mind your partner going out to play pickleball with their friends every weekend, but then baby comes along and you might start to feel like every weekend is a bit too much. This scenario is completely normal, and dealing with major life changes in marriage requires both people to be honest about their wants and needs, even if and when these change.

What's not normal is expecting your partner to bend to your will and do exactly what you want, no matter what. This is where managing your expectations of your spouse comes in. Even if it doesn't come naturally to you, it's a skill you can learn.

How to Manage Expectations in Relationships

 A couple share a swing during a romantic sunset while discussing their relationship expectations

We think we're being respectful and sparing someone's feelings by dismissing or minimizing our own, but that can be a recipe for disaster: it's often after pushing aw...

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